By Ingrid Clayton
(Reviewed by Carol Clancy)
Believing Me is a memoir about healing from narcissistic abuse and complex trauma. The author is a clinical psychologist who had been in practice for years before she fully understood that her own background contained significant trauma. Because of the covert nature of the abuse she suffered, and the lack of physical and overt violence, she did not fully recognize the harmful effects it had on her. Even as she counseled others and specialized in treating trauma, she minimized the emotional abuse she had suffered primarily at the hands of her stepfather, although her mother’s lack of awareness and accountability for her daughter’s well-being could be viewed as equally disturbing. This is a deeply personal memoir that does not shy away from delving into some dark places, particularly when showing how covert sexual abuse can manifest in a dysfunctional family.
Believing Me is raw, and it can be disturbing to read about the behavior of her parents. It is easy to see how she was able to rationalize what happened to her as “not that bad,” while at the same time, the reader can observe up close just how bad it was. I would recommend this book to anyone who has experienced covert abuse themselves and wants to feel supported and validated in their memories. It would also be important reading for therapists and counselors who work with abuse victims. The detailed description of covert narcissistic abuse is thorough and personal, making it easier to recognize the signs of this largely hidden and unaddressed issue in our society.
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